A Love Letter For A New Mother
So about a year ago I woke up in the night and messaged my coach Nicola Rae-Wickham, to say “I have an idea! I need to share the wisdom of mothers with new mothers to let them know that it will be okay” This was about 2am and I could not sleep. I am a very creative person and this often happens when I get ideas and they are normally about how I can change the world for the better and help more people with love. This idea felt very important and I needed to share it with someone out loud before I backed out or wrote it in my journal as a good idea for future reference.
I am an old school romantic. I love receiving letters and I love the idea of connecting mothers through the vulnerablity of sharing inner thoughts and emotions. I wanted new mothers to know that so many have already done this. They are okay and they survived. They are like you and it is not as scary as you think right now. No one really knows what they are doing and it’s okay to not know what to do or feel. It’s okay to love it, hate it, want it to go on forever or want it to go away. It’s all real, valid and it’s yours. I wanted to show that motherhood is diverse, unique and individual. That circumstances and history don’t define you. That you can write your own story regardless of what has come before or what you think lies ahead.
I took the idea and then asked my wonderful teachers and some close friends of Blossom & Berry if they wanted to help the dream become a reality and share their inner feelings and emotions through writing love letters. I had so much support for the idea that before I knew it, it was actually happening. I asked and the right people appeared. Ready and willing to share and connect. So many amazing women started writing straight away, sharing their experiences from the heart. It was actually a bit like therapy, both to write and read. Every letter touched my heart.
Curating a book is not something I have done before and it’s definately not my natural skill set. I have been out of my comfort zone but I birthed it! It is here and it’s truly gorgeous and amazing. I know it will help new mothers and that was my intention. The official launch is on Sunday 24th June 2018 at the Wallace Collection where we will be having afternoon tea and toasting all the new mothers coming into the world. All profits from the book are going to the Pandas Foundation and our mother & baby projects in Malawi with Love Support Unite to help vulnerable mothers.
I should wait but I can be impatient by nature so I am sharing my letter with you. As background, I absoluteIy love being a mother. It is my greatest joy. I had 3 children in 3 and a half years. It was the most busy and beautiful time of my life. I was happy in the simplicity of motherhood and childhood combined. I saw becoming a mother as a way to write a new story for myself and my children. I saw adventure, play and creativity in the new life I shared with my children. It was challenging at times but my heart was always full and the time was so precious. My children are now all teenagers. My daughter will be learning to drive in the next few months. My son went to the prom with his date on Friday. My baby son has braces on his teeth and skateboards all day. This will happen to you (not exactly, but it will happen). They grow up which I know is no surprise but actually it really is. Enjoy the “now” with your children. It might sound corny but it’s totally true.
My letter below is in the book along with 34 letters from other mothers. It is a beautiful gift for a new mother.
You can order your copy of “Love Letters For New Mothers” here.
Dear New Mummy,
Motherhood is a rainbow-coloured experience with every emotion and feeling. Some will serve you more than others but all emotions are there to allow you to grow, expand and understand yourself and others.
So my words are simple;
Forget everything you thought you knew.
Let go of control.
Trust and learn from your baby. She will be your greatest teacher.
Stop judging yourself and others.
Accept and love yourself and your baby.
Let go of fear of the future. It’s completely out of your control.
Choose love now, and whenever possible.
Let go of perfection: Do the best with what you have. Build trust through being consistent with your word and actions.
Let go of ideals; you are beautiful just the way you are. Don’t separate yourself from others through stories you tell yourself.
Connect fearlessly with your heart.
Think less. Play more.
Become a child all over again and have adventures everyday.
Trust your instincts. They are your guide. They are usually right (but it’s completely okay to make mistakes too). Know that you are an inspiration for your baby and live your life authentically through your desires and passions. Be yourself from the start. It’s a long time to keep pretending you are something you are not. Reinvent yourself through motherhood (I did and it’s been incredible). Hold, cuddle and love your baby. This unconditional love will nourish your soul forever. Enjoy every minute. It’s not always easy but children are the most beautiful and joyous gift in all their wonderful ways.