Colic SOS: Let’s do this
Struggling with colic or generally feeling a bit “out of control”? I am here to help. This is the first part in a five part series on how to effectively cope with colic or an unsettled baby, feel happier, get your mojo back and learn how to soothe and calm your baby. I will outline five strategies you can use to help you feel more empowered and positive. This blog is focusing on the first strategy; Mama Mindset
How do you feel?
I have been doing lots of research into colic, what causes it and how it affects parents and babies. Studies show that parents with colicky babies can feel that colic overshadows the rest of their experience as a new parent. Colic not only affects babies, it affects you and your relationships. Your relationship with your baby can be affected if you feel you are giving all your energy to your baby, receiving nothing but crying in return and you do not feel you have a strong connection. Your relationship with your partner can be affected if your self worth is lowered and you are exhausted. Your relationship with your friends can suffer if you feel no one understands or other mothers seem to have “dream babies”.
The good news is that you can turn things around however difficult they may seem by taking positive action and some steps to change what can seem like an impossible situation at times.
What are you telling yourself?
Negative self talk is a trap we can all fall into. If you are telling yourself that colic is happening because you are a “bad mother” “you can’t meet your baby’s needs” or “you just can’t do this”, that is exactly how parenting will feel to you and this negativity can manifest itself in your actions. What you tell yourself and believe becomes the reality you live in. Let’s turn this around right now. Today say to yourself;
“I am the perfect mummy for my baby”
“I am so happy my baby is here with me”
“I love myself and my baby”
“I am doing the best I can right now”
“As a mother I accept that I am learning everyday”
“By being there for my baby I am giving and receiving love and deepening our bond”
Really say these words with belief and write them out and put them where you can see them. By really believing these affirmations, your mindset will shift and you will be more free of negative overthinking which can drain your energy.
We love these beautiful daily affirmation cards by a A Life More Inspired
Change your your actions and create a new experience.
Feeling like you are trapped in a cycle of your baby crying can make you feel helpless and disempowered. Many babies with colic have a set time that colic really kicks in. For my baby it was between 4pm-9pm. I used to dread this time and would start to feel anxious as early in the day as lunchtime. All my energy was being sucked into the fear of the afternoon “melt down” period.
An easy way to change your mindset on this is to do things differently during the day. Use action to alter your mood and your experience of events. This can be a challenge to get started as when you feel low, anxious or stressed as your motivation to do things often decreases. Rather than staying in during the time that you feel your baby might be unsettled, try going outside and going for a walk. Change things up and take positive action to avoid negative feelings setting in.
There are also certain activities which can help you feel better;
Socialising-social contact often helps us feel better. You are not alone.
Exercise-this can improve your mood and general health. Gentle yoga or walking is a great way to start.
Rest -try to plan regular rest times. Do not feel guilty! You have regular rests and breaks in a working environment and this is as important when you are at home with a baby. Having regular rest can help improve your mood and energy levels.
Time for yourself – make time to relax. You need to nurture yourself.
This things are not unrealistic if you put yourself first and schedule them into your day. They are basic self care strategies which mean that you will be at your best, which in turns affects all your relationships around you.
For inspirational advice on taking this mindset, watch Flow Coach Yves Bachittar talking about how you can achieve this.
Next time we will be looking at acceptance as a strategy. I hope you put these ideas in place and see how they can make a difference.
Much love xxx