Colic SOS Part Four-Why you need to put yourself first



Having a baby with colic can be exhausting, the end result being that you feel you have no energy to give to anyone, let alone yourself.

It’s a dangerous game to be playing; no sleep, no down time, grabbing food here and there. This often leads to overthinking and a sense of overwhelm. I think overwhelm is one of the worst feelings. It has frustration, dissatisfaction and hopelessness all attached to it. It can feel like you are in a black hole you can’t get out of. You can also feel resentful and start to blame people around you for the world you have created for yourself due to your mind and body being pushed to the max. There is also the age old excuse that “you can’t change things” or have down time because “you need to be there for your baby”. You may start to think that by not being able to cope with all these different demands, you are in some way less than a “supermum”. You feel you are a failure and start to blame yourself. This can start a negative spiral which then makes coping with your baby’s colic harder.

So what’s the answer?


Yes stop. Don’t read any more books on what to do, stop googling, don’t take advice and don’t overthink.

Reboot your system and to remind yourself what an amazing human being and mummy you really are. Sit in silence and come up with your own answers. These will be the best ones.  When things feel tough, accept they are tough. Acknowledge you feelings and don’t hide from them. It’s okay to not be okay. Babies cry. Babies have colic. You are not to blame and you are not a bad person. This is not happening just to you, but to you and your baby and one of you has to be fully charged and ready to respond and it kinda has to be you! All your baby wants you to do is respond to his need to be close to you so when he cries, pick him up, give him cuddles, do a gentle foot massage or rub his tummy. To be open to his needs, you need to give to yourself first.

What next?

When you have stopped, taken a moment, write down three things you can do for yourself to make you feel better. These are 3 things are specific to you and things that you know will make you feel good.

Here are some suggestions;

1. Schedule sleep in your day-Anything is good.

2. Join a group-get a tribe to help you. You are not the only one

3. Get out-Fresh air and getting outside naturally refreshes.

4. Let people bring you food-Food is your fuel. Ask for some home delivery.

5. Exercise-Stretch, dance and move. Put on your favourite tune now and mix it up a little bit.

Why is this so important?

It is vitally important because you are the most important person in you baby’s life and your frame of mind, emotional state and physical condition will impact your interactions with your baby. You are your baby’s first teacher so if you are feeling wobbly, your baby will pick up on this. Take time away from your baby to centre yourself and then return to respond to his/her needs. Ask friends and family to help. They will be keen to support you. They love you and your baby.

The best gift you can give your baby is to be fully present and the most happy version of yourself. Invest in yourself and both you and your baby will be happier. Take the easy option. Stop. Tune In. Give yourself some love.

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